Disgraceful Good
by Rookie-Bee
Summary: "Ah!" The Master exclaimed happily. "It'll be so fun to kill you all."  His expression turned suddenly downcast. He fingered the edge of his cape and cleared his throat.  "But first… You need to help me save the universe." W/ Rose, Ten2, 11, and the Ponds
1. Chapter 1

_And now I'm tryin' to fake it, and say I got a plan; beyond this tiny suburb there's a world to be had._

"Hm. Good song." Amy noted. "Who's it by?"

Rory shrugged.

"Great Eastern!" The Doctor said. "You should know that! I mean, they're only _number one_ right now!"

"They weren't when we left." Rory said.

Amy hit the button by the blinking light on her answering machine.

'**84 new messages' **It chirped.

"Ah. It wasn't October when you left, was it?" The Doctor asked, realizing his mistake.

"No."

"Oops," He got up from the couch, rubbing the back of his head. "At least it's not a year again."

"Do you mean 12? Or 2?" Amy said, giving him a pointed look.

"No, one year away from home."

"That never happened."

"Not to you." He said, absentmindedly rubbing his cheek.

Rory gave the Doctor a funny look as he wandered into the kitchen mumbling, "I'd feel bad for Jackie, but that slap really hurt."

Amy followed him into the kitchen, dialing a number on the cordless phone.

"Can we go somewhere relaxing after I call everyone I know to tell them I'm alive and well?"

"Relaxing? Sure. I can do that… Probably."

DWDWDWDW

"Do you want to go out somewhere?"

Rose looked up from where she was perched on the captain's seat and shrugged.

"Where do you want to go?"

He paused.

"Are we playing the question game again?"

She chuckled, shaking her head. "Do you want to be playing the question game?"

"Are you up for it?" He said with a devious glint in his eye. "Remember how brilliantly I won last time?"

Rose stuck out her tongue at him. "Where do you want to go?"

"Repeat. You've got an H."

"That didn't count!"

"H, O." He said, smirking. "Do you want to hit the random setting?"

"Do you remember what happened last time we tried that?"

"Ye-eah." The Doctor said, pulling his ear.

"H."

"Crap."

"H, O." Rose whispered, teasingly.

"Will you please shut up?" He said, grinning cheekily.

"What's that jungle planet called?" She said suddenly.

"Huh?"

"Are you trying to make me repeat myself?"

He grinned.

"Do you mean… Jasmint?"

"Do I mean Jasmint?"

"Can I read minds?"

"Not anymo'e." She chirped.

"Don't rub it in. Oh and H, O, R."

"H, O, R, to you, too." She said.

"How about we don't go to Jasmint?" He said. "We'll try something _new. _New TARDIS, new universe- for me anyway-, and a new new _new _Doctor. How about a new planet, too?"

"HORSE." Rose whispered, then grinned. "Sounds fan-_tas_-tic."


	2. Chapter 2

"So far, this isn't relaxing." Amy said, pulling herself up off the floor after their rough landing.

"Doctor?" Rory groaned, rubbing his head.

The Doctor popped up from behind the console, hair sticking up in all angles and a mixture of worry and confusion on his face. He stood several inches shorter on account of the fact that his legs were two feet apart. One hand was on the edge of the console, using it for balance, the other reaching over to pull the screen closer to him.

"What's wrong, dear?" He asked. "Something pull us off course?"

He frown deepened and his brow furrowed together as he stared at the screen.

"Ooh. That's not good at all."

"What? Amy asked, coming over to look at the screen, not surprised to see the usual circles and hexagons.

"The universe is in danger."

"Biiig suurrrpriiisse." Rory muttered.

"Sorry Amy, but I have a feeling today won't be relaxing."

DWDWDW

Rose yelped as the TARDIS suddenly jolted and she was thrown into the console.

The cloister bell sounded, and she realized her hands had accidentally hit some buttons .

"Uhh."

"It's fine." The Doctor cut in, flicking some switches to undo whatever problem she'd caused.

"Sorry."

"No prob-" He was cut off mid sentence as the TARDIS gave an especially large jolt.

The Doctor flew into (then tumbled over) the captain's chair to land on the floor with a thud.

Rose tripped over her foot in an effort to regain her balance in the especially shaky flight, and crashed into the railing. The wind was knocked out of her, and she fell backwards as the shaking promptly stopped.

"Rose?" The Doctor called out.

"Here." She muttered, curling into a ball and taking large breaths.

"What hurts?" He asked, crouching down next to her.

"Ribs." She said, finding herself unable to say more than the one word.

"I think you knocked the wind out of yourself."

"TARDIS. Did. That. For. Me. Thanks." She said, pausing between each word to take a breath.

"Hm. Lie still for as sec and you'll be right as rain." He said. "I'm going to check on the TARDIS."

Rose found that after a moment she was fine and pulled herself to her feet.

The Doctor squinted at the screen in front of him, one hand in his hair, on resting on the console, and reading glasses perched on his nose.

"HA!" He exclaimed after a moment, making Rose jump. She couldn't say that was her favorite of all the traits Donna had given him.

"What 'appened?" She asked.

"You'll never guess what universe we're in!" He paused. "Weeellll…. Maybe you will."


	3. Chapter 3

The Doctor crept out of the TARDIS into the empty room.

"It's far too quiet here." He decided. "Hm." Rory muttered in agreement. "Something pulled us off course. Why wouldn't they come to say- helllooo." He trailed off at the sight of six helmeted figures coming into the room.

The Doctor grinned. "It's our greeting party!" He paused, looking at each of them in turn. "Tell me you brought cake."

The helmeted humanoids stepped forward, seizing the Doctor, Amy, and Rory.

Someone stepped into the room, a wicked smile on his face. He was wearing a simple black suit with a black cape tied around his neck.

"Well, well, well. I'm glad you could make it." The Master said.

"OOH! SLABS!" The Doctor crooned, grinning ear to ear as he was hauled away.

Rose watched him on the screen in the TARDIS, glad she had taken the few extra seconds to tie her shoe.

After another glance at the screen to make sure the coast was clear, she stepped out of the TARDIS, trying to formulate a way of rescuing the Doctor.

"Nice office." The Doctor commented as they moved to a larger room nearby. There was a desk sitting in front of a large window on one side of the room, littered with spare parts and a couple of weapons.

"I like it."

"How'd you survive? And without even regenerating…"

"After the Time Lords were sent back into the time lock and everything was going to hell, I sort of just ended up here. I guess since I wasn't really part of the time lock, I was just spit out at some random point and time in the universe. Been here for three months. Thank Rassilon for preservative-packed food and grocery stores." He gestured to the window where a view of a city not unlike Earth's was seen.

The buildings were grey, most of them tall, but varying in sizes, and the entire place had a deserted feel to it.

"This is Asmal." The Doctor realized.

"What's that?" Amy whispered back.

"Asmal is a planet. It shifted out of its orbit a bit, and the climate rose considerably, killing off every living thing on it." The Doctor explained.

"The climate _rose_? It's freezing in here."

"Some like it cold." The Doctor said, grinning at his joke.

"Can we please get back on topic?" The Master said. "Really, you're insufferable."

A noise outside of the room caught his attention and he listened carefully.

"OI. Watch it, slab."

The Doctor and Master's eyes simultaneous widened at the voice, and the Doctor was pleased to see the Master's mouth open slightly in surprise as a familiar figure was dragged into the room.

"Damn." The Master muttered, "It was set so it wouldn't bring in the same TARDIS twice. I figured with it being the only TARDIS in existence that wouldn't be too hard."

The Doctor nodded at the new one, knowing by the Donna-like remark who it was.

"I- You died!" The human Doctor said, staring at the Master in fascination.

"Yes. But then I was resurrected."

"I see you've brought back the cape."

"Hm. Yes. Trying to counter off any good I did saving the universe from the Time Lords and any future good I may do."

"But then you look like a super hero." The original Doctor cut in.

"Time Lords?"

"It's a black cape!" The Master defended.

"When did this happen?"

"Batman's was black." The Doctor pointed out.

The Master grabbed an edge of his cape and looked ready to pull it off before he paused. "So was Darth Vader's. The cape stays."

"OI. DUMBOS. When did the TIME LORDS COME BACK?"

"Just before I regenerated, they were trying to break out of the time lock and bring the whole war back. The Master helped me stop them."

"Ugh. Never put the words 'help' and 'me' in a sentence together unless paired with the words 'die a painful death'." The Master scowled.

He looked at the skinnier Doctor for a moment, seeming to remember he was there.

"There's something… _off _about you two." The Master realized.

"I'd like to know who he is." Amy muttered.

"It's a past him. Before he regenerated." The Master answered offhandedly. "Except… I would sense that you two are the same person, and I'm _not._"

The Doctors shared a look.

"Ye-eah. _Well… Technically speaking…_"

"We're not." The Doctor finished.

"Biological metacrisis." The human one explained.

"_Really?_" The Master crooned delightedly. "Does this mean I get to kill you twice?"

The human Doctor rolled his eyes.

"Oh! Keys!" The Master said suddenly. "I don't need you running off."

He pulled the key off of Amy, Rory, and the original Doctor's necks, and paused as he reached the human Doctor.

"You have one, too. How interesting."

The Master pulled the key off his neck, too, and his mouth widened into a maniacal grin as he saw what else was on the necklace.

"Is that a RING?"

"Hm? Yeah. It came with the chain."

The Master gave him a skeptical look.

"I think it's a _ring._" He repeated. "Are you _Married?"_

"No." The Doctor lied.

A squeak was heard from the doorway as a struggling Rose was dragged into the room.

If possible, the Master's grin grew wider.

"Ooh, please." He said, walking over to Rose and pulling the chain off her neck.

The Master turned to face the Doctor, his mouth open in a delightful grin as he held up the chain, revealing a key and ring.

"_This is brilliant._" He said.

"What?" Rose asked.

"I have _got:_ The Doctor's married companions, the Doctor himself," Rose's eyes widened, and she tuned to stare at the original Doctor at this revelation, "Yet another Doctor, _and the Doctor's wife."_

He looked in joy at the Doctors' unhappy expressions.

"Ah!" The Master exclaimed happily. "It'll be so fun to kill you all."

His expression turned suddenly downcast. He fingered the edge of his cape and cleared his throat.

"But first… You need to help me save the universe."

The Doctors stared at him.

"What? It's not easy to conquer a universe that no longer exists." The Master said. "When the universe is saved, I'll happily kill you all and let our newly-regenerated Doctors watch as I command everyone and kill all the protestors."

"Doctor." The human Doctor muttered.

"What's that?" The Master asked, turning to him with an inquisitive look.

"Newly regenerated _Doctor._ Not Doctors. I won't regenerate."

"You- _why not?_"

"Half human, now." He said with a shrug, staring at the floor.

"_Really?"_ The Master asked, walking over to place his hand on the human Doctor's chest.

_**Bah-dum**_

"So does this mean if I stab you in your one human heart you'll stay dead?"

"Aren't we supposed to be saving the universe? And will you tell the slabs to let us go? I'm losing circulation to my arms."

The Master grimaced.

"Don't remind me." He said with a scowl, "But yes. And- let them go."

"What are we saving it from?" Rose asked, stretching her now free arms.

"Chstoffglerth." The Master said. Well, almost.

"No." The human Doctor said, mouth dropping open in horror.

"A _what?_" Rose asked.

"I think he said Chestofferth." Amy said.

"Chstoffglerth." The Master repeated, glaring at the Doctors' bemused companions, "Ch-sh-st-ah-ff-gl-er-th-○+ ."

"Uhh… Was that last one a thing?" Rory asked.

"They don't really have that sound in the English language. It's deep in your throat; like Danish." The Doctor said.

"Not like _Danish._" The Master scowled, "It's Gallifreyan."

"That's where you're from, isn't it?" Amy asked.

"Yeah."

"Is there, by any chance, an English word for the Chestofferglen-grrffgle?" He said, tacking a sort of growl onto the end of the word in an attempt to replicate what the Master had said.

The Master looked ready to snap Rory's neck. "No. You can call it by its name."

"Repeat after me," The original Doctor said with a grin, "Ch-sh-st,"

"Ch-sh-st," Rose repeated.

"Ah-ff-gl-er,"

"Ah-ff-gl-er,"

"th,"

"th,"

"-○+ ,"

"Grfflck." Rose growled.

"Can't we just call it a heffalump or something?" Amy cut in.

"No. If you won't call it by its name, you don't get to call it anything." The Master said.

"What _is_ it?" Rory asked.

"A Chshstahffglerth-○+ ." The human Doctor unhelpfully cut in with a grin.

"It's a monster that dwells in time, walks through hell, swims through the Universe, crosses voids like they're nothing, and lives forever. Its destruction knows no bounds, and it kills any living thing it finds unimportant as it conquers any and every universe." The Master said, the look on his face that of wonder, amazement, and of someone telling a ghost story to children around a campfire.

"Swims through the universe?" Amy repeated, "Like a space whale with power?"

"Do you ever just want to kill them?" The Master asked dryly.

"Not really," The Doctor said, "I find them quite delightful."

"Come on." The Master said, pulling one of the keys out of his pocket and heading in the direction of the TARDIS.

DWDWDWDW

The Master stared at the doors, not moving.

"Come on then!" Amy said, "Scared of a little space whale?"

"It's NOT a space whale!" He snapped, "And we aren't there anyway."

"Then where are we?"

"_Wales_." He said, voice dripping with contempt.

"Why are we in Wales?" Rose asked.

"Because, that freaky captain friend of yours can't die, and we can use that." The Master said.

"Who, Jack?" Rose asked.

"Yes, Jack! Go get him." He gestured to the human Doctor.

The Human Doctor pushed open the door, mumbling, "attitude," at the Master on his way out.

He came back a couple of minutes later.

"Hub's gone."

"Gone? Where could it have gone?" The Master asked. "Oh, never mind. I'll just track him. Won't be that hard, the bloody fixed point."


End file.
